[There isn't even an answering machine message here, only some horrible recreation of the theme from that one SBaHJ video he did made completely of clips of different bird calls.]
[When she stops, he's the one left still crying, endless, softly hiccuping breaths between his wet snuffling, all unvoiced, just like his laughter. It lacks the violence of her grief. He is sorry, he is so sorry and unhappy, and he doesn't deserve to hold this girl in his arms because he did this to her, he'll keep doing this to her until she stops caring so much, and he needs it. He needs her to think he's something special in this world. He needs her to love him.
He needs her.
He doesn't do anything to move her, doesn't let her go, just holds her to him while she rides out her storm to the end and keeps his own sorrow to himself, quiet, without hope of repair.]
[ If his eyes are closed - if his mind is elsewhere - he might not notice what she's doing with her hands until they're cupping his face. With unbelievable tenderness she smoothes her thumbs over his cheeks, brushing away his tears. ]
Don't cry.
[ One of her hands slips behind his head so she can gently tug him down and press his forehead to hers. ]
I'm right here. And I -- I'm never going to leave you alone, either. I ... as long as I'm here, in this city... I'm always going to be with you. So don't cry.
[ She sees his sorrow. She feels it like it is her own. And she won't let him be alone in it. ]
[He breathes in softly and opens his blurred eyes when her hands touch his face, and then he makes just a small noise as his expression crumples, as he bites his lip and lets her pull his forehead against hers and tries to stop crying. She's so careful with him, it breaks his heart.
One more sob shudders its way out of him, one more hitching inhalation. He nods against her forehead.]
Okay.
[What can he do, presented with everything he needs, knowing she needs him to accept her, but give in?
Whatever resistance he has drains out of him, and he just holds onto her, onto what she's asked of him. It's not so hard to stop crying, when it's already so quiet and weak. Harder, a little, to fix that promise in his mind: He will tell her when he has to make a choice. He will let her try to stop him, as long as she lets him try.
They'll be all right.
Hardest still to believe that, but she didn't ask him to.
He adjusts one arm around her and brings the other up to wipe at his face, under the shades.]
It's okay. [ Perhaps miraculously, she really is smiling, though it's small and still a little sad. ] ... I'm sorry for getting so mad. The war... it really took its toll on everyone. Us, too. I know what you were trying to do. I guess ... I just missed you.
[ After a beat, she lowers her hands to tuck her arms into her lap instead and simply lean into him, shutting her eyes. ]
[He sniffs and settles both arms around her again, then pulls her gently against his shoulder so he can sit against the wall and she can rest against him, still folded in his wings.]
Uh-huh.
[He rests his cheek against her hair, stroking her back gently with one thumb.]
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He needs her.
He doesn't do anything to move her, doesn't let her go, just holds her to him while she rides out her storm to the end and keeps his own sorrow to himself, quiet, without hope of repair.]
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Don't cry.
[ One of her hands slips behind his head so she can gently tug him down and press his forehead to hers. ]
I'm right here. And I -- I'm never going to leave you alone, either. I ... as long as I'm here, in this city... I'm always going to be with you. So don't cry.
[ She sees his sorrow. She feels it like it is her own. And she won't let him be alone in it. ]
no subject
One more sob shudders its way out of him, one more hitching inhalation. He nods against her forehead.]
Okay.
[What can he do, presented with everything he needs, knowing she needs him to accept her, but give in?
Whatever resistance he has drains out of him, and he just holds onto her, onto what she's asked of him. It's not so hard to stop crying, when it's already so quiet and weak. Harder, a little, to fix that promise in his mind: He will tell her when he has to make a choice. He will let her try to stop him, as long as she lets him try.
They'll be all right.
Hardest still to believe that, but she didn't ask him to.
He adjusts one arm around her and brings the other up to wipe at his face, under the shades.]
Okay.
[It bears repeating.]
I'm sorry for--for making you cry.
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[ After a beat, she lowers her hands to tuck her arms into her lap instead and simply lean into him, shutting her eyes. ]
... can we stay like this for a while?
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Uh-huh.
[He rests his cheek against her hair, stroking her back gently with one thumb.]
I'm not going anywhere.
no subject
Okay.
[ And she'll stay like that, just like that, for as long as she can. ]