Ruby City IC Inbox

[crowsicle]

[There isn't even an answering machine message here, only some horrible recreation of the theme from that one SBaHJ video he did made completely of clips of different bird calls.]

Comments

[thepuppetmaster]

Shit, Dave. I know what they say about early birds but since when were you ever out of the nest before me?

[thepuppetmaster]

Ok that was weird.
I got a shitload of feedback from that last message.

[thepuppetmaster]

What the fuck are you doing?

[thepuppetmaster]

Dave, are you even there.

[thepuppetmaster]

...
You're not, are you.
I'm talking to my fucking self because some feathery asshole got himself dragged down into the tunnels.

[thepuppetmaster]

Good fucking job.

[thepuppetmaster]

...

[thepuppetmaster]

If you get hurt down there I'm going to kick your ass.

[primrosepath]

I've hidden a bag of sunflower seeds somewhere in the house. Find them and they're yours. Fail and they're mouse treats.

[primrosepath]

So come home as soon as see this lest Diamanda have to start chasing fattened rodents instead of her favorite feathery foe.

[unironicsmuppeteer]

dude where are you

[unironicsmuppeteer]

dirk said youre gone
i guess thats true since i havent been able to find you anywhere

[unironicsmuppeteer]

but that doesnt mean i wont
i will find you
or at the very least
ill wait for you

[unironicsmuppeteer]

goddamn thats like the lamest thing ever
but what else is there to do but wait
i know youll be back
you have to
its just

[unironicsmuppeteer]

theres always something fucked up going on in this city
maybe i shouldnt worry about you
youre one big orange birdboy that doesnt afraid of anything

[unironicsmuppeteer]

but youre my little bro
so
just be careful


and pretend i wasnt ever this lame jfc

[crowsicle]

thanks

[crowsicle]

good to know ive been missed

[crowsicle]

[Well, okay, someone was obviously pretty distressed so maybe Davesprite can dial down the grump.]

no idea what youre talking about
did i miss anything

[thepuppetmaster]

I swear to fuck if I find another one of your feathers in my bed I am going to pluck you like a Thanksgiving turkey.
How do you even get them under the sheets.
I roll over and it's like someone stabbed a needle up through the mattress, and lo and behold it's the semi-transparent calamus of one of your tangerine semiplumes.

[crowsicle]

i know semiplume really rolls off the tongue but you need to bone up on your ornithology dude
i have other kinds of feathers
for example
pennaceous rhymes with hellacious and maybe if you share the love out among my fluffy quills you wont get so many stuck up your butt

[crowsicle]

also there really isnt anything i can do about it dude
theyre feathers
they fly around all over the place
thats what they do

[thepuppetmaster]

It's always the semiplumes, bro.
Always.
They're like fucking knives.
Are you putting them there on purpose.
Is this a thing we're doing now.
Am I being punished for my overuse of the word when describing your various mental states by your lacing my mattress with them.

[crowsicle]

yes thats exactly whats going on here
i have that much control over where all my little poky pieces go
i purposely rub myself all over your bed when youre gone thinking to myself yeah thisll really learn him a good one
what do you want me to do
at least im not doing the full molt again
i dont tell you to stop shedding dead skin cells do i

[thepuppetmaster]

Are you reading what I'm saying to you.
I'm finding these fuckers under the sheet, between it and the mattress.
No amount of undirected shedding should have them ending up in there.
Are your departed feathers developing free will.
If so, we might have a problem on our hands.