Ruby City IC Inbox

[crowsicle]

[There isn't even an answering machine message here, only some horrible recreation of the theme from that one SBaHJ video he did made completely of clips of different bird calls.]

Comments

Re: [TEXT]

[earlybird]

Perfect. Batcat should be terrifying. Strike fear into the hearts of criminals.

[TEXT]

[crowsicle]

does team bat clean out rodents now
are you gonna paint the bat signal on a truly nolen car and corner the market on pest control

[TEXT]

[earlybird]

No. I am going to train it to ruthlessly ambush and attack at my command.

I wonder who could make the best first target?

Hmmmm.

[ You, Davesprite. You. ]

[TEXT]

[crowsicle]

are you serious
put your fucking ominous italics back where they came from numbnuts
im kiboshing that shit so hard
dont even think about it
my dumbass birdbrain phobia is bad enough as it is you dont have to shove experiential reinforcement into the human half of my head too

Re: [TEXT]

[earlybird]

[ He can smell fear, Davesprite. ]

What's that? You wouldn't, by chance, be afraid of 'baby murderbeasts?'

[TEXT]

[crowsicle]

IM A BIRD

Re: [TEXT]

[earlybird]

BIRDS DON'T HAVE THUMBS.

[SUDDENLY VIDEO]

[crowsicle]

[No words. Just this face. And a hell of a lot of wing in the background.]

[VIDEO THAT IS NOT SO SUDDEN] i am so not sorry you don't even know

[earlybird]

[ His mouth opens, closes. Opens again. A disgruntled look eventually replaces his shock. ]

You're forty times its size, wings included.

That's as many as four tens, Davesprite. And that's shameful.

[crowsicle]

The bird part of me doesn't know that.

i'm not even sorry i just did it again

[earlybird]

Not a bird of prey then, huh?

Let me guess: pigeon.

[crowsicle]

Crow.

[earlybird]

[ His eyebrow raises; he's trying to maintain a straight face, but there's a bratty smirk twitching his lips upward. ]

I thought crows were smart?

[ Text it: Damian Wayne is absolutely, completely a bully. ]

[crowsicle]

Where I come from, mostly they're just uncontrollable dickbags and/or sword fodder.

[earlybird]

[ That actually drags a laugh from him, and there's definitely a delighted dickbags repeated under his breath. ]

[ Added to the lexicon of slang to be slung at Jason one day. ]

But really, you don't like it?

[ 'It' being the small murderbeast. ]

[crowsicle]

Sign. Let me put it for you this way. When I see a cat, half of my brain is like, "Meh, cats, probably has fleas, possibly fed by sister, whatever," and then the other half of my brain is a retarded screeching Looney Tunes caricature. Would you enjoy the hella intra-cranial feedback that gets you?

[earlybird]

I get it. I'll spare you from future photos. Promise.

[ He promises nothing about surprise visits if he ever finds out where Davesprite lives, however. ]

[crowsicle]

[Damian, you are MEAN.]

--It doesn't talk, does it? Your cat. That's a thing here. Talking animals.

[earlybird]

It is?

[ Talking animals. ]

Let me check.

[ He leans out of the video feed for a moment--

Can you talk? ...No? Don't meow at me. Use your words.

--before leaning back in, an obviously put-out look on his face. ]

No. I don't think so.

[crowsicle]

Okay, 'cause there's the talking ghost cat who got an upgrade to text from my bro, and there was the talking dog that fucking treed me, and I think the kraken talked back to my sisters back when they started hissing at it in tongues? And I don't even know what else.

[earlybird]

Talking ghost cat? Talking dog?

Wait - the Kraken talks, too??