[There isn't even an answering machine message here, only some horrible recreation of the theme from that one SBaHJ video he did made completely of clips of different bird calls.]
Hey! [ She elbows him in the ribs, though in so doing is careful to make sure their hands remain linked. She's giggling, even if she's pretending to be indignant. ] I'm not that bad, am I? Wait, does that mean I'm like a kitten? Or a duckling? [ THOUGHTFUL SUDDENLY. ] Those are pretty cute.....
[And since he does remember that, he just scoffs and makes a bird head with his free hand.]
Shows what you know. Birds are basically airborne rats, minus the black plague but plus avian influenza. Caw, caw.
[He reaches across to mime dive-bombing her bunny ears hand, making "pchoooo" and "nyeeeooowww" airplane sound effects that aren't actually appropriate for either a bird or a flying rat, but, y'know, give him some artistic license.]
[ Xion starts to laugh and just doesn't stop, ducking her head and trying to retaliate with her bunny ears. ]
Stop! Those aren't the sounds birds make at all!!!
[ Her bunny ears turn into a puppy instead, because a puppy is much more effective at attacking, and goes "bark bark!" and growls unconvincingly to return his assault. ]
Oh noooo, a puppy, my mortal weakness. I must fly away to my arboreal abode and think of a new plan of attack, probably involving crapping in someone's water bowl and eating all the kibble in the morning. Prometheus-style.
[He raises his hand high.]
Off I go flapping the feathery piece of gargbage I call my ass into the sun. Which I guess is over there.
[He corrects his imaginary trajectory, then turns to look at Xion. Very seriously, he says:]
[He caws for real but then he's down in a rush of feathers, and then he's genuinely laughing even as he tries (not very hard) to push at her.]
Oh fuck, I'm crushed, I've been flattened by a giant baby bunny suffering a doggy identity crisis, this is exactly the kind of health hazard the attorney general needs to start putting on adorable teenage girls, democratic government has personally failed me. Help help, save me, dramatic swoon.
[ Xion laughs loudly and keeps him pinned there with her body, wincing one eye shut at his attempts to push her off and bravely resisting them. ]
You know, you're really bad at dramatic swoons!
[ reaches up to RUFFLE HIS HAIR. ]
Um... what am I supposed to say? "No one can save you now?" [ A considering pause. ] Muahaha! [ Another beat, and: ] Hehehehe, you lost to a baby bunny. How does that feel?
[He stops struggling to focus on smoothing his hair back into place, but when she asks her question, he pauses to mull it over. His expression is bland when he answers, with raised eyebrows:]
[ That just makes her giggle again, and she rolls off him to give him some space. But with that done, she just lays back on the roof with her arms splayed. ]
I wonder if I could really get a bunny someday. I think I'd like a pet.
I just think.... I'm not ready yet. Pets are a big responsibility, right? I want to be sure I can take care of it. [ She looks off to one side with a sigh. She couldn't take care of it, after all ... if something happened to her. Or she, for some reason, had to leave. ]
[It's a simple offer, because hey, so far it hasn't been all awful, raising one another in House Dersewreck.]
I mean, your mileage may vary, but I'd like to think I don't kill everything I touch. And there's always bro and Jane and Dave. Who, well, okay, he's probably even worse than me, so never mind, tick Dave off the list.
[ She doesn't notice his eyes on her. Not until he says that, and she glances at him in surprise. After blinking once or twice, she smiles so warmly it makes her eyes crinkle. ]
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A warning label? [ Her mouth makes a little o of thoughtfulness. ] Why?
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[God he's glad she's selectively sheltered or he'd never be able to get away with this shit without getting called out for flirting.]
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Huh, I dunno, maybe not a bird. Birds are total dickosaurs.
[He grins and elbows her back.]
Maybe a baby bunny.
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I'm not like a bunny at all! I'd need the ears, you know. [ Lifts two fingers up behind her head and wiggles them in a V shape. BUNNY EARS. ]
And anyway, I don't know about you, but I think birds are nice!
[ Mischievous little smile. LET'S ALL REMEMBER SHE HAS NO IDEA WHAT FLIRTING IS. ]
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Shows what you know. Birds are basically airborne rats, minus the black plague but plus avian influenza. Caw, caw.
[He reaches across to mime dive-bombing her bunny ears hand, making "pchoooo" and "nyeeeooowww" airplane sound effects that aren't actually appropriate for either a bird or a flying rat, but, y'know, give him some artistic license.]
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Stop! Those aren't the sounds birds make at all!!!
[ Her bunny ears turn into a puppy instead, because a puppy is much more effective at attacking, and goes "bark bark!" and growls unconvincingly to return his assault. ]
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[He raises his hand high.]
Off I go flapping the feathery piece of gargbage I call my ass into the sun. Which I guess is over there.
[He corrects his imaginary trajectory, then turns to look at Xion. Very seriously, he says:]
Pchoo.
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Then she disentangles their hands so she can tackle him, instead. ]
Gotcha! No "pchoo" for you!
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Oh fuck, I'm crushed, I've been flattened by a giant baby bunny suffering a doggy identity crisis, this is exactly the kind of health hazard the attorney general needs to start putting on adorable teenage girls, democratic government has personally failed me. Help help, save me, dramatic swoon.
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You know, you're really bad at dramatic swoons!
[ reaches up to RUFFLE HIS HAIR. ]
Um... what am I supposed to say? "No one can save you now?" [ A considering pause. ] Muahaha! [ Another beat, and: ] Hehehehe, you lost to a baby bunny. How does that feel?
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[He stops struggling to focus on smoothing his hair back into place, but when she asks her question, he pauses to mull it over. His expression is bland when he answers, with raised eyebrows:]
Pretty par for the course actually.
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I wonder if I could really get a bunny someday. I think I'd like a pet.
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Why not. Nothing's stopping you here. Bet Dirk could build it a sweet pimped-out hutch with surround-sound and everything.
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I just think.... I'm not ready yet. Pets are a big responsibility, right? I want to be sure I can take care of it. [ She looks off to one side with a sigh. She couldn't take care of it, after all ... if something happened to her. Or she, for some reason, had to leave. ]
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[It's a simple offer, because hey, so far it hasn't been all awful, raising one another in House Dersewreck.]
I mean, your mileage may vary, but I'd like to think I don't kill everything I touch. And there's always bro and Jane and Dave. Who, well, okay, he's probably even worse than me, so never mind, tick Dave off the list.
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[ Xion folds her arms behind her head, watching the sky. ]
... I know. But it's okay. I still think I'd rather wait. It's not like we can leave, right? Well, not if we want to. So... I probably have time.
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[He goes quiet for a while, but he's watching her, not the sky.]
I could get you a stuffed bunny. Those seem to make good gifts.
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Hehe. I'd be okay with a stuffed bunny.
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Cool, then I will. You wanna come with me to pick it out?
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[ Xion sits up, blinking at him, a little startled... and then beams at him with all the bright, blinding force of the sun. ]
Yeah! I'd love to!