[There isn't even an answering machine message here, only some horrible recreation of the theme from that one SBaHJ video he did made completely of clips of different bird calls.]
yo you awake yet have you achieved consciousness tier or am i alone in this dark universe well dark city its all foggy and shit straight up like a scene out of the cheesiest horror film like are you serious you couldnt come up with better special effects this is creature from the black lagoon meets the original dracula meets nosferatu someone with a bad makeup job and a worse accent is about to jump out any minute now
man i gotta tell you sleeping in the attic right now aint all its cracked up to be also protip my god tier gear is fucking hella for this sort of weather i am snug as a bug in a red fuzzy rug if that rug is in an attic full of weird relics that someone's dead brother shoved up here this shit is all sorts of hilarious most of the time but i gotta tell you that all the hilarity goes right out of the room when the whole city kind of sounds like its screaming
yeah im gonna go see what i can do about all this shit later
day three of dave striders experiment in being the only strider in ruby city so far general consensus is that it sucks the big one theres donkey cock and bear cock but this is definitely bordering on the realm of dragon cock possibly even god-cock its a lot of big sucking thats what im getting at here and seeing as my metaphors have travelled into the land of mythical genetalia im gonna go ahead and do us all a favor and cut me short like a circumcision ha ha ha
so theres these weird horses around just f y i theyre kind of made of nightmares which makes them night mares??? idk it seems pretty unoriginal tbh cant you come up with something better ruby city this whole thing would reek of bad b movies if it werent for the fact that we are living in it
anyway yo i hope you wake up soon im seriously debating kicking down your door if you arent awake by tonight i mean i know that being a sprite you dont have to worry about shit like food water pottytime but like i said
only strider = sucks the big one and im not going into that again
im so glad youre here to make sure i wake up to a dissertation on the diversity of cock way to bring us back to our ever timeless roots next time ill make sure weve got plush felt visuals on hand anyway where are you man i took the liberty of literally hurling bro out of bed so we could have a reunion episode of all my striders but youre clearly somewhere that isnt the somewhere i like to call here yo marco
man i wish i couldve seen it i bet you set the scene perfectly sorry i didnt hang around i mustve missed my stage cue or maybe the script slates me coming in later so the reunion can be that much more full of emotional turmoil i mean these reunion episodes only happen once every couple seasons we gotta make sure its quite a tearjerker gotta keep the viewers hungry for more strider manpain
anyway polo im making my way downtown walking fast killing horsebeasts theyre going past and im not quite homebound but i guess i could be if you wanted me to be i havent seen hardly anyone else out and about but theres def people out doing some killing because yknow blood is a thing and theres a lot of that im having a grand ol time and by grand ol time i mean ew god gross everythings disgusting and weird
ew nah dude you can stay out there until you assure me youre not dragging home oozing capefuls of nasty ass horse blood that shits impossible to get out of carpet anyway im making coffee do you want anything in yours
cream enough to make it almost the color of an antique photograph and like a spoonful of sugar shit how do you take your coffee i probably take it that way isnt that how this works
anyway ive got a spare outfit in my captchalogue dont you worry your pretty orange head about it and ill hose off the cape before i throw it in the laundry are you gonna make me separate out the colors too or is that something youre capable of also whats for dinner and what time do you actually want me home unless work keeps me late ill be home right on the dot honey
but no youre definitely separating your colors what do you think i am maid of time you have to sort your reds by varying degree of redness wouldnt want the sizzling scarlet of your pants bleeding into your cool cherry crimson shirt now would we
no i think youre the housebird of striders which is true i mean who else is gonna make sure that we eat in a timely fashion also ugh i repeat ugh did i mention ugh i almost dont even care whether or not my cherry crimson shirt becomes more or less red that sounds like way more effort than im willing to ex
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
[text, 6/7]
you awake yet
have you achieved consciousness tier
or am i alone in this dark universe
well
dark city
its all foggy and shit
straight up like a scene out of the cheesiest horror film
like are you serious you couldnt come up with better special effects
this is creature from the black lagoon meets the original dracula meets nosferatu
someone with a bad makeup job and a worse accent is about to jump out any minute now
[text, 6/8]
sleeping in the attic right now aint all its cracked up to be
also protip my god tier gear is fucking hella for this sort of weather
i am snug as a bug in a red fuzzy rug
if that rug is in an attic full of weird relics that someone's dead brother shoved up here
this shit is all sorts of hilarious most of the time
but i gotta tell you that all the hilarity goes right out of the room when the whole city kind of sounds like its screaming
yeah im gonna go see what i can do about all this shit
later
[text, 6/9]
so far general consensus is that it sucks the big one
theres donkey cock and bear cock but this is definitely bordering on the realm of dragon cock
possibly even god-cock
its a lot of big sucking thats what im getting at here
and seeing as my metaphors have travelled into the land of mythical genetalia im gonna go ahead and do us all a favor and cut me short
like a circumcision
ha ha ha
so theres these weird horses around just f y i
theyre kind of made of nightmares which makes them
night mares???
idk it seems pretty unoriginal tbh
cant you come up with something better ruby city
this whole thing would reek of bad b movies
if it werent for the fact that we are living in it
anyway yo i hope you wake up soon
im seriously debating kicking down your door if you arent awake by tonight
i mean i know that being a sprite you dont have to worry about shit like food water pottytime
but
like i said
only strider = sucks the big one
and im not going into that again
no subject
way to bring us back to our ever timeless roots
next time ill make sure weve got plush felt visuals on hand
anyway where are you man
i took the liberty of literally hurling bro out of bed so we could have a reunion episode of all my striders
but youre clearly somewhere that isnt the somewhere i like to call here
yo
marco
no subject
i bet you set the scene perfectly
sorry i didnt hang around
i mustve missed my stage cue
or maybe the script slates me coming in later so the reunion can be that much more full of emotional turmoil
i mean these reunion episodes only happen once every couple seasons
we gotta make sure its quite a tearjerker
gotta keep the viewers hungry for more strider manpain
anyway
polo
im making my way downtown
walking fast
killing horsebeasts
theyre going past and im not quite homebound but i guess i could be if you wanted me to be
i havent seen hardly anyone else out and about but theres def people out doing some killing
because yknow blood is a thing and theres a lot of that
im having a grand ol time and by grand ol time i mean ew god gross everythings disgusting and weird
no subject
nah dude you can stay out there until you assure me youre not dragging home oozing capefuls of nasty ass horse blood
that shits impossible to get out of carpet
anyway im making coffee do you want anything in yours
no subject
and like a spoonful of sugar
shit how do you take your coffee
i probably take it that way
isnt that how this works
anyway ive got a spare outfit in my captchalogue dont you worry your pretty orange head about it
and ill hose off the cape before i throw it in the laundry
are you gonna make me separate out the colors too or is that something youre capable of
also whats for dinner and what time do you actually want me home
unless work keeps me late ill be home right on the dot honey
no subject
but no youre definitely separating your colors
what do you think i am
maid of time
you have to sort your reds by varying degree of redness
wouldnt want the sizzling scarlet of your pants bleeding into your cool cherry crimson shirt now would we
1/2
which is true
i mean who else is gonna make sure that we eat in a timely fashion
also ugh
i repeat ugh
did i mention ugh
i almost dont even care whether or not my cherry crimson shirt becomes more or less red
that sounds like way more effort than im willing to ex
no subject
theres this dude being all fucking weird
no subject
1/3
long silver looking hair
he
2/3
3/3
but brb
gotta go kick some ass
1/I dunno man I just roll with it
no subject
oh shit
SHIT
Actually 3/3 is fine
are you shitting me????
dammit this is not the time!
I lied, one more 4/4